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So… I wrote out a detailed account of Boone`s birth, and then I accidentally didn’t hit save. So I wrote it again, but this is definitely the short and sweet version! Also, I kept the pictures PG for you. My mother-in-law took pictures throughout my labor and delivery and I am in love with them - they make me feel so strong! However I will spare you from my birth pictures because this is the internet, but also because my dad will probably read this blog. Your welcome Dad!
Boone`s birth was so easy!
I thought I was in labor the day before Boone`s due date. As soon as we got in the car to head in to the hospital that night all of my contractions stopped! I thought for sure that I would just be sent home. After several hours of monitoring they had returned a little but I was not in labor. I did however have a slow leak of amniotic fluid so I was admitted because they require that you deliver within 24 hours of that happening to prevent infection.
Once my midwife made it to the hospital she recommended breaking my water the rest of the way to speed up the process because I wasn`t actually in labor. I agreed and that was done at about 11:15 pm. Almost immediately my contractions started getting a lot stronger. When I got too uncomfortable I headed to the bathroom to labor in the tub. I was experiencing a lot of nausea and my body temperature was fluctuating a lot. I got in the tub but I couldn`t decide what temperature I wanted the water to be since I was getting so hot and so cold. I ended up laboring in the tub for about 30 minutes, but never with any water.
Not long after I moved into the tub the contractions became really strong and were coming so close together that I wasn`t getting any rest in between. I started asking for drugs! Mike knew that my birth plan was to deliver naturally, so he held out as long as possible and tried to convince me otherwise. I snapped at any body who suggested that I not have drugs at that point. My midwife agreed to do IV painkillers, but not if I was close to delivery. I made my way back to the bed. I was checked and only dilated to six centimeters. Ugh! Long way to go! The nurse started preparing an IV.
In that same moment Boone`s heart rate dropped way down. The midwife had me roll to my other side (forced me really, I was not very cooperative because I was in so much pain). As soon as I moved his heart rate returned to normal. I had an extreme urge to push! I told the midwife. I also think I got a little hysterical because the feeling was so bizarre and I thought something was wrong. I could not refrain from pushing. She checked me again and Boone was crowning! She yelled for help and lots of hospital staff came running in to help. After just two pushes he was all the way out and in my arms!
I was only in active labor for about an hour and half. I went from six centimeters to a sweet little boy on my chest in two minutes! Aside from my midwife breaking my water, I had him naturally! Boone was born at 12:41 am on his due date, November 9. He weighed in at 7lbs and 4.9oz. He was 21 inches long (I think).
Several weeks ago I took a homeless man shopping, which is what started this whole thought storm about compassion. It wasn`t the experience itself that really got me thinking, but it was the response I got from people in my life when I shared what I had done. People said things like:
My husband would kill me if I did that.
Why would you do that?
You had the kids with you when you did that?
He is just going to return everything for the cash.
Very few people actually thought that it was a nice thing to do, or shared a story about how they had done something similar. I started to feel like I had done something wrong because everyone was so negative about it!
We can`t know what other people are dealing with. I can`t say for sure that the homeless man I helped really is looking for a job, or that he hasn`t returned everything I bought him. At the end of the day, he could have not been a very honest person. I am not oblivious, I know that it is possible. At the end of my day, I KNOW that I reached a hand out in compassion, and that if I do it enough, I WILL make a difference to someone.
After this experience I really started to think, “what can I do to raise my children to be compassionate?” I want them to reach a hand out to others - not be the ones commenting about what a bad choice it is to do so. I want them to really consider how other people are feeling, and be proactive in helping others. I want them to be compassionate! As parents, it is our job to raise kids that will be compassionate adults.
One thing that I have already been doing that works really well for Briar, is asking her to recognize how others are feeling. For example, if she is having a snack and Boone comes over and starts fussing I will say something along the lines of, “whats wrong with Boone?” Then I talk her through how he is sad because she is eating oranges and he doesn`t have any. Nine times out of ten Briar will hand over some orange slices all on her own, unprompted by me. Then I will say something like, “look how happy you made him by sharing!”
Today it is orange slices - in twenty years it will be taking a homeless man shopping.
At MOPS, coincidentally right after I had this experience, the topic was compassion and I picked up a tip from the video speaker, Osheta Moore. She suggests, “telling better stories.” Basically if you find yourself or your kids griping about another person you can redirect your thoughts or your kids thoughts to compassion by making up a story (or having your kids do it) about what happened in that persons day that caused them to be rude/mean/etc. As my kids get older I plan on doing this with them.
Lastly, the most important thing we can do as parents is set a good example. Our children watch everything we do and hear everything we say. If we want to raise our children to be compassionate adults, we need to be compassionate adults! When my kids are older I will know that I have done a good job if they find nothing odd or strange about taking a homeless man shopping because they have been watching me.
Each and every one of us is responsible - however indirect it may be, for what becomes acceptable behavior in the future. Just like our parents are responsible for what is acceptable behavior right now (as a whole, not YOUR parents specifically or MY parents specifically - I don’t want to be misunderstood.) The future of our communities, our country, our world - is being decided right now and we all have a responsibility to be active in that. What I mean by that is, if there is a dissenting opinion - share yours (respectfully of course). Do not be afraid to have a discussion and let people hear it.
Whenever I am deciding if it is worth speaking up about any particular issue, I always go through this thought process in my head in a few split seconds:
“Oh geez, I do not agree with that.”
“Ugh. Maybe I should just ignore it.”
“Ugh. If I don`t say something, who will?”
“I don`t want (insert anyone: elected officials, teachers, peers, etc) to believe that is a commonly held point of view.”
“I need to do it. Ill try to be as understanding as possible in case I missed some big part of the issue.”
So my question from the beginning, how did we get to a place where what is going on became acceptable behavior? This is the only analogy I could think of to explain/describe this properly. There are two people in a room, one crazy and one reasonable, but the crazy one is doing all the talking. Apply that to society as a whole and I think that is the answer. I really believe there are more reasonable people than not, we just have to speak up!
if you can think of a better analogy, PLEASE, help a sister out and send it to me!
]]>After I changed how I was eating I started to feel so much better about myself, it really made all the difference. You can read about that here. I had lost all the weight I had gained from my pregnancies and years of unhealthy eating which felt really good!
What I didn't realize would happen when I had children is the loss of all muscle! I am not sure if it is everyone's experience, or just mine because I was on bed rest for a good amount of time, but my entire body had gone soft. I knew that as good as I was feeling after losing so much weight, I would feel even better if I started exercising and regaining some of that strength that I had lost.
Up until adulthood I was a competitive swimmer and that is really the only exercise I ever did. I loved it! I tried to get back into it after having kids but I went once and just couldn't. I used to swim miles a day without a thought and not even being able to do five hundred yards was SO discouraging. I only ever went to the pool once. I had to find something else.
I settled on a Tides Yoda because it was close to my house and offered a variety of classes. I was drawn to yoga because it seemed like a relaxing way to strengthen my body without going overboard. I was hooked after just a few classes. Now I have a monthly pass and I go to as many classes as I can when Mike is home to be with the kids. My favorites are AIReal Yoga, Beyond Barre, and Buti Yoga. Each class leaves me feeling strong and very, very tired!
I am finally starting to notice some muscles and am really happy with where I am at. I think it is so important for new moms to realize that they do not have to settle with a post baby body that they are uncomfortable with. Being a mom does not mean that you have to give up on yourself! As a mom I am better for my kids when I am feeling confident, fit and strong!
My earliest recollection of church (which may or may not be entirely true, my parents can chime in if it actually happened this way or not) is going to Sunday school with our friends. I do not remember anything about the actual Sunday school but I do remember that my parents would drop my sister and I off and then go to Krispy Kreme without us! Krispy Kreme is REALLY scrumptious so I am sure you can imagine how I felt about Sunday school.
Fast forward to several years older (think middle school) and I had a lot of friends who were religious so it came up quite a bit at school and looking back I was quite skeptical about God. Lots of people around me were believers but I was not familiar enough to be convinced. I didn`t go to church, my family didn`t really talk about God, we didn`t pray, I didn`t read the Bible (although, I was given one when I was young inscribed with my name on the front), and I just didn`t have any understanding of Christianity beyond the basics.
My husband had the opposite upbringing. He spent all his Sundays and some of his Wednesdays at church. He knows all his Bible stories type of guy. When we moved down to Kenai he started taking Briar to church while I was working in the summer. Then we started going as a family. Now I go every Sunday I possibly can, I am hooked. I was going there and listening carefully and everything started making sense. I don`t know how to explain it any better. I really feel like my attitude and my life started changing. God can and will change your life if you are ready for it - it`s true because I am experiencing it!
So I have done a lot of things differently and made a lot of changes as I walk my path with God. I am sharing this with all of you today because I did another thing that is so special to me in this journey! I had a dream several months ago about being baptized - it was an absolutely beautiful day, the water was teal blue (think glacier water), the mountains were the backdrop - it was the most beautiful dream and it was so vivid. After that I could not settle for a baptism in the tub at church. When the pastor mentioned that he would do it at the lake during our church picnic I knew it was the perfect time!
Our church offers a quick little class for people who are interested in being baptized which was really good and informative. I like that our church views baptism the way it is written in the bible, as something you do to show your commitment to God, not as a means to be saved. It really was a beautiful, sunny day. A friend had taken a video for me which I would totally share - but unfortunately she was standing next to Briar who was screaming. Briar thought she was missing out on some swimming.
Here is my shameless plug for my church, Kenai New Life. If you live in Kenai I would highly recommend giving it a try. If you live in Soldotna it is worth the drive. If you live elsewhere, they stream on Facebook. The pastor is amazing. The messages are applicable to actual life. The people are kind and welcoming. The music is actually good. They have coffee. Briar and Boone go to the nursery and toddler class and it has been awesome every time. It is a really wonderful community of people. Furthermore: Find a church that works for you! If you don`t love your church and find that it adds value to your life each and every Sunday: keep looking! If you dread going: keep looking! Find a church that inspires YOU! When you do, it will be a game changer!
So you have probably read the first part of this little blog series about how I was feeling about my body after having two babies. If not, read part 1 here. Now I am going to share what I did about it!
I did a lot of research while I was pregnant with Boone about healthy eating because I knew that once I had him I would need to make a major change. What I came up with that I thought would work best for me is the Ketogenic Diet. I talked it over with my doctor to make sure that it would be okay to do while I was nursing Boone and got the all clear. I am so thankful that my husband agreed to do it with me because that made it way easier and gave me an accountability partner!
The Keto diet is very low in carbs and high in healthy fats ( hello avocados!). The goal is to get your body to switch from burning carbs as energy to burning fat as energy. I am not a doctor so do not ask me about all the sciency stuff - just research it! I did not want to be counting carbs and macro-nutrients all the time (like you are supposed to do on a true keto diet) because I didn`t want to be obsessing all day about what I was eating. Instead I just cut out all the processed junk that is high in carbs, cut out sodas, cut out high carb fruits and root vegetables, and just ate really clean but still yummy food. I kept a rough carb count in my own head and then after the first few weeks I found that I didn`t need to.
I started about three weeks after I had Boone, once I had established a good milk supply. I experienced all the benefits almost immediately. I really thought that all these awesome benefits I read about online were too good to be true - but they weren`t! I had more energy. I was not craving sweets. I wasn`t hungry for a snack every few hours. I didn`t feel like I needed a nap to get through the day. I was hooked for those reasons alone!
After a few weeks my friends and family started to notice that I was slimming down. A few more weeks and I started to notice in a change. ( I have fat goggles when I look at myself so it took awhile. Fat goggles are a real thing!) I tried not to weigh myself but occasionally I would and the number just kept going down. After just four months I was back at my pre-baby weight! That was no small feat because I gained a LOT more than the recommended amount. The best part was that is what so easy to keep up with because I was seeing results and I was not starving myself!
The whole experience was really an eye opener for me. It can seem impossible to lose weight, but in reality I was just putting garbage into my body. No wonder I had gained so much! Even foods that I had perceived to be healthy were in fact packed full of added sugars and at the time I just didn`t know any better.
When I was pregnant with Briar I did pretty good weight wise... until I got put on bed rest. At which point I packed on the pounds like a squirrel packs away nuts for winter. I was well over my recommended 25-35 lbs. Instead of eating healthier I just kept telling myself that breastfeeding would take those extra pounds right off.
This family picture was taken a few months after Briar was born. It might not look like I had a weight problem to anyone else, but I was so different (i.e. heavier) than I was before that I had a problem with myself.
Then I had Briar but did not ever really lose the baby weight. I exercised some and, "tried," to eat better but in reality I just made a bunch of excuses. I knew that my husband and I would have another child and I had ZERO motivation because all the squish was inevitable with another baby. I was not committed. I read a lot of blogs encouraging new mothers not to stress about it, how to be comfortable with your body that grew a human, etc in an attempt to feel better about my self but nothing helped.
I got pregnant with Boone when Briar was about nine months old. (Which is a miracle for real because as self-conscious as I was there was not a whole lot of getting busy!) The weight gain was immediate and never ending. Not only that, but places in my body where I once had muscle were MUSH. During my pregnancy with Boone I dreaded that I was about to have those same feelings towards myself. I knew it was not healthy. I told my husband over and over that I had to make a lifestyle change and I did lots of research. I told everyone who would listen because I wanted to be accountable.
Just to be clear, my husband was awesome. If he did not like all the changes that baby having caused for my body he never let on. He told me I was beautiful, and that it was an incredible that I grew a tiny human. Everyone in my circle was the same way. I did not have anyone shaming me or pressuring me to lose the weight (except for some mean teenagers at Target in the swimsuit section). My disgust with myself was entirely my own doing.
Treat your marriage like there is no such thing as divorce.Now I am not saying that there are absolutely no circumstances where divorce is acceptable. There are exceptions of course - so don`t get me wrong. BUT - for everyone else, do not even give yourself the possibility of an out. Do not enter into a marriage with a plan b. The only plan when you get married should be staying married for your lifetime. It should never cross your mind that you can just get divorced if it doesn`t work out. It should only cross your mind that it will work out because you are committed to your vows and your spouse. It is a shame that it even needs to be said considering the till death do us part line.So. Mike and I had a rough third year of marriage. BUT because we are MARRIED, and staying married is our only option, we have a lot of years to make improvements!
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The humor in all of this because there almost always is some: I don't know about the rest of you parents - but in the middle of the night, only poopy diapers get changed. I do not fully wake my baby to change his butt for a little bit of pee pee just so I can struggle to get him back to sleep. No thanks. You guys, Boones night nurse was a firm believer that any hint of a blue line on the diaper meant that he needed to be changed. She woke me up every 45 minutes ALL NIGHT LONG to change Boones, "dirty," diaper. I went through more diapers that night than I do all week at home! That's a little dramatic, but thats how it felt. I can only assume that this young lady did not have any babies of her own because that was just crazy.
Also comical: When I rushed Boone to the ER I took the rental car and left Briar and Mike stranded at the house we were renting so they had to walk to the hospital to pick up the car the next day. Briar always takes her shoes off in the car = I had her only pair of shoes = daddy had to carry her the whole mile to the hospital.
Last thing! Boone was only in the hospital for about two days. Briar wasn't allowed in the inpatient areas - meaning that Mike and I were never able to be with Boone at the same time and we had to leave him alone to trade off. We were in a strange city. We didn't know anybody or have any help. It was a miserable experience and it was just two days. Families do this for months and months on end for their babies that are much sicker than Boone was. If you are a parent and you have a sick child in the hospital - you are a rock star, you are doing your best, and you are an incredible parent! That is no easy feat and I will always be praying for families in that situation.
For Briar's second birthday I wanted to give her something handmade that I knew she would love and get lots of imaginative playtime out of. It was also a plus for me that this not be an eyesore - because nothing bothers me more than our house being covered in neon plastic toys. So - my husband and I worked together to make her this adorable little flower box! She can pick the flowers, she can plant the flowers, she can make bouquets - the play possibilities are endless. Who knows, maybe we are raising a little florist!
We got the idea for this project when we were visiting the childrens museum in Phoenix. If you are in the area this place is amazing so check it out! They had a raised garden bed with lots of flowers, "growing," in it. It was huge. Briar LOVED it. She played in the flowers for what seemed like ever!
I just knew she would like a miniature version at home. Here is what you need and how we did it!
Materials:
- 4x4 cut to whatever length you would like your garden box to be
- enough trim to wrap all the way around the top of the box
- paint and stain, just use whatever you already have!
-flowers with a sturdy stem, I got mine at Joanns when they were on sale for 50% off and I had a coupon for 20% my entire purchase! (if you are paying full price for anything at Joanns, you are making a big mistake! coupons people!)
- caulk, this is completely optional and I only used it because I had it laying around the garage
-wood glue
- finish nail gun (if you do not have one of these just use that wood glue!)
-sand paper
-drill
*We do a lot of projects in our house so we were able to use supplies we already had and the only expense we had was buying the flowers, which were only about $10! If you are trying to keep it low cost - raid your scrap pile (or a friends), use paint you already have, buy flowers at the thrift store, and borrow tools if you need to!*
Directions:
1. Cut trim for each side of the 4x4. We have a miter saw so we did mitered corners, but you could also do straight edges if you don't have one.
2. Put a thin line of wood glue on the trim and then attach it to the top of the 4x4. We put ours about halfway on and left the other half sticking up so that the box would have a rim above the, "dirt." If you don't have a nail gun just do a kickin job with the wood glue!
3. Caulk where the trim meets the outside of the 4x4. I did this so that there wouldn't be a gap on the outside of the planter but you could skip this step if you want.
4. Drill holes in the dirt area of the planter for the flowers.
5. Sand all over so that those little fingers don't get any splinters!
6. Stain or paint the, "dirt," a dirt color. We did stain that we had from a different project.
7. Cover up the dirt with tape, plastic, paper, etc and paint the rest of the box a color of your choosin!
When you build a flower box please share pictures with us here! If you have any questions about how to make one of these planter boxes for a little in your life do not hesitate to reach out - I would love to chat with you!
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I am so thankful that I have healthy baby girl but I would be lying if I didn`t say how disappointed and upset I was about her delivery. Nothing was remotely natural or according to plan. I did not get to hold her right away. I received an episiotomy (which I didn`t know about till my one week appointment - not evening knowing that it happened left me feeling so violated), I wasn`t allowed to use any of the coping techniques that I had planned, I ended up with an epidural, the list goes on and on. What bothered me most is that I felt so disconnected from the whole thing. I did not experience birthing her - I could have been a bystander in the room - that`s how strong the epidural was. For months (lets be real - it was until I had my second baby) I held it against my husband because I somehow felt like he was responsible that things went so far from the natural childbirth I had imagine. Don`t get me wrong - I am thankful we have medicine and that I was being monitored for eclampsia - but I just know that it could have been a little more natural. My doctor knew that is what I wanted. I did not have a good team to help me with that goal.
When I got pregnant with Boone one of the first conversations I had with the midwife was how I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT want another labor like Briar`s. Out of curiosity she looked up my file to find out exactly what went down. As it turns out Briar had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, which is why I got the surprise episiotomy. There were some other notes that kind of made sense and gave me some closure about her delivery. Today I don`t look at it with as much disgust as I used to, but I am still frustrated and embarrassed that I failed to advocate for myself.
The thing that sticks with me most about Briar’s birth story comes at the very beginning. I remember pulling into the driveway of our rental house after I had just gotten off work. There in the driveway to meet me, was my beautiful wife. She had the biggest smile on her face. She jumped up on me and game me the biggest hug she ever had. I could tell that something exciting was happening. I think she had just peed on the stick that morning. I don’t think I will ever forget the look on her face.
Briar’s birth came at a crazy time in our lives. Our lease on our rental house was up on May 1st, so we needed to find a house before the end of April. After finding a good starter home that was close to my work, we were able to move in after closing around April 10th or so. I only spent 1 night in the new house before having to go to work.
We had been struggling with the pre-eclampisa and dealing with the associated hypertension. Our midwife had the ugly words “induce labor” on her tongue for the last few weeks of the pregnancy since Shelby had been on bed rest. (She wasn’t much help with the move, love ya babe.) I got a call the first night I was at work that the mid-wife wanted to get the party started that evening. Inducing labor was not on our birth plan… We had it all figured out after reading mom blogs and watching a few documentaries on Netflix about childbirth. We weren’t going to use any drugs, Pitocin was evil and mag sulfate was only given to women having eclamptic seizures, or at least that’s my EMS training had told me. And there is no way were going to get an epidural, our baby wouldn’t nurse right and Shelby would feel “disconnected” from those ever so important first moments of birth.
Well guess what, nothing in the birth plan was in the cards that day. We were a couple of weeks early, so her body wasn’t really primed up to be pushing a human out of her birth canal. After some less invasive methods were tried, they brought out the big guns. Pitocin and a magnesium sulfate drip. She wasn’t allowed to walk around (planned pain management technique) or take a bath (our hospital has 2 for use while in pre-labor). So she just had to sit in the shower. The famous last words of “whatever I say, no matter how much I beg, DO NOT let them give me an epidural.” Fast forward a few hours into the labor and she was sitting in the shower. The Mag Sulfate was giving her severe tremors. The Pitocin was speeding her dilation and doing all kinds of work that is normally done slowly over a longer period of time. The staff wouldn’t let her walk around or take a relaxing bath.
We had a waiting room full of family and a friend had stopped by with his daughter and brought flowers. (Thanks Abe). I felt like I needed to play host to everyone, as well as be there for Shelby. Being an EMT, I am often around people in pain. With most medical and traumatic ailments, I have a cookbook of treatments and an ambulance full of equipment (and drugs) to make you more comfortable until we arrive to a higher level of care. The hardest part for me was having to sit there unable to do a thing to ease her suffering or “fix” her problem. I felt completely helpless, which is not an emotion that I am used to feeling. She was sitting on the floor of the shower, crying in pain, pleading for an epidural, and things were not going well. I tried to delay the epidural request as long as we could. And by the time that our OB doc was notified and requested, he was not at the hospital so he had to drive over which took some time.
I continually abandoned my beautiful wife who was going through the biggest challenge she had ever faced. I still regret not getting down on that shower floor with her. Everything I tried to do to comfort her resulted in an understandably snippy comment or outburst from her. She was too hot, too cold, didn’t want to be touched, and wasn’t being held enough, it was hard to please her. I found it mentally easier to float around and visit everyone including her, instead of being in the trenches with her. And for that, I’m truly sorry. If I thought it was uncomfortable; she was obviously feeling it 1000 times worse. OB Doc showed up at our request and she was given an epidural.
Before we knew it, she was needing to push. With her mom holding her left leg and me holding her right, She pushed with all of her might. We were hoping that she would have red hair, so Shelby’s mom glanced down and gave me an uncertain look. She had to push for less than 2 minutes, I think just 3 contraction cycles before Briar came out. It was beautiful. She had a low Apgar score so for the first 10 minute or so, Briar was under the care of Keith the RT and Dr. Lee as her pediatrician, and finally she was able to get some skin to skin time. I remember unshamefully having tears fill my eyes as I stood there holding her little newborn hand under the heat lamp. I didn’t want her to feel lonely in this new, bright and cold world that she was expeditiously thrust into. The way her little blue, gooey hand felt in mine was so precious and I will cherish that feeling forever.
Everything went according to planned, because we planned to have a healthy baby girl, and God blessed us with just that.
So this is not something I am proud of and it will probably effect Briar for the rest of her life.
Here is what went down. I was giving Briar a bath in the tub at our house. We own an older home so obviously there are lots of nooks and crannys. She was playing no problem with all of her bath toys when tragedy struck. I leaned over to turn the water off and the biggest spider I have ever seen dropped out from behind that round thing that keeps you from filling the tub too high. I may or may not have screamed - it was all a blur. What did happen was I snatched her up out of the water so quick, I was not about to let that spider get my baby!
Now when Briar takes a bath she gets really frightened when anything is floating in the water - which is usually just fuzz. She squirms over to the edge and makes herself as far away from it as possible. She reaches her arms out to be lifted out of the water but she DOES NOT take her eyes off of the fuzz. Poor girl.
ALSO. It isn`t just spiders. There was a fly on the window at my MIL house and Briar was avoiding that thing like the plague despite my husband trying to get her to hold it.
Potty training became extremely important to me the first time Briar took poop out of her diaper and played with it. By play with it, I mean that she used the poo to style her hair. After that I was determined to get poo in the toilet instead of my daughters hair.
What we used...
toddler potty - just get a basic one; the toilet is not a toy so it does not need bells, music, flashing lights, etc. You want your kid to do their business and get off, not stay to play. Get one for the house and one for in the car.
treats - Initially we used chocolate chips for Briar which somehow ended up all over her hands and face. This left us playing poop or chocolate a lot more often than is acceptable. Now we use jelly beans and they work perfect.
underwear - Get LOTS of underwear.
toddler seat for adult potty - We figured out pretty early on that Briar would much rather use the adult toilet so we went right to Home Depot and bought one of those toilet seats that also has a toddler sized seat included.
stool - We wanted Briar to be as independent as possible so she needed to be able to get up and down herself. I built her one because I could not find one at the store that wasn't hideous.
How we did it...
The first few days we did no underwear. We set an alarm for every half hour and when the alarm went off we took Briar to the potty. As she got the hang of it we gradually increased the amount of time on the timer. At first she was hesitant to sit on the potty so she got a treat for sitting, another for pee, and two for poop.
*People suggest not leaving the house but we totally did - I am not trying to go stir crazy!*
Briar was not talking yet so we just stayed on top of when she went last and made sure to take her frequently. Within a week or so she was no longer having accidents even when we were out and doing activities.
My suggestions...
Be fully committed. If you put a diaper on to go run errands and then expect your kiddo to use the potty it can be confusing. I know it is hard but I really think it makes a big difference. My family lives nine hours away guys - we didn't even use diapers on a nine hour drive to visit! Once you start, no going back.
Have a potty kit in the car. Get an extra potty and keep it in the car along with clorox wipes, a sealable trash can (I use a rubbermaid container with a lid), spare clothes, potty treats, etc. Public restrooms are nasty you guys and toddlers touch EVERYTHING. Have them use the potty in the car before you go into stores. I shamelessly dump the pee out on the ground and anything else goes in the trashcan.
If you are starting with a younger kid - do not expect them to be able to be potty trained at night and during naps. Briar is now nearly two and I still don't think she has that control while she is sleeping.
Moral of the story - it is totally doable to potty train a younger toddler. She still has accidents every now and then but it is still worth it. I think we could have started Briar even sooner. Kids are smart. I repeat: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO KEEP CHANGING POOPY DIAPERS! Good luck!
I have been fuming for days about this. The more I think about it the more I fume! I am going to write about it here, and then I will do my best to let it go.
My husband works for days at a time without coming home so I often take the kids and we visit him at work. Just a few days ago we were visiting him at work and planning our next family vacation. Boone started to get really fussy. We were in the middle of purchasing plane tickets so without even thinking twice I fed him. He calmed down, we planned our vacation, no big deal.
Fast forward several hours later and my husband tells me he had a heated discussion with his co-worker because I nursed our baby in their place of employment! I won't go into details because that is really not whats important here. I will say that I am so thankful that he chose to confront my husband instead of me; I was crying just as my husband told me about it, I can only imagine my emotions if I had been there.
I initially felt like I had done something wrong. It is a major blow to my confidence for someone to feel strongly enough about what I am doing with my baby to say something about it. The more I thought about it the more I realized how silly that was. I was not doing anything wrong, and I should never be ashamed of feeding my baby!
I came up with some truth that apparently needs to be shared.
This is what breastfeeding looks like. No boobs showing. Nothing inappropriate exposed. Just love for a tiny human.
In closing can I just say how awesome my husband is? I am thankful every day that I have a man who will protect me and my choices.
If you love these pictures check out www.shilohpowellimages.com. Shiloh is a dream to work with and the images she captures are stunning!
We started potty training Briar at a pretty young age. I kinda started when she was about one, but then life got a little crazy with a summer job and then a new baby so we stopped. I really committed to it when Briar was about 20 months old and now I would be willing to say that within a week she was 95% potty trained. (not including bed and nap time, because at 20 months that is just crazy!) Unfortunately, several months later, she is still only 95% potty trained. How we potty trained is another post for another day. For now I will just share some of the hilarious, gross, embarrassing things that come along with potty training.
When we leave the house we have a potty in the back of the car for Briar to use. Her favorite thing to do is take her time on the potty when we are in a crowded parking lot. She likes to sit with the back hatch open and wave at people as they push their grocery carts by. She will strike up a babbling conversation with ANYONE who walks by and will participate. Honestly they don't even have to participate - she can have the whole conversation herself. Empty parking lot on the other hand and she is done in a matter of seconds.
Briar is still too young to really communicate with us that she needs to go. This means that when we slack off and miss a potty break we sometimes find suprises. Usually the stink comes first and after that it is like a game of poo and seek. I have included some pictures in case you are interested in some poo and seek.
Just to be clear - I only take pictures of my daughters poo so I can send them to my husband and we can laugh about it. The poo and seek game from the first picture took us hours to find. We smelled it but we were looking too low, not up on the chair. Sneaky girl. We definitely lost poo and seek that day.
We always cheer and clap when Briar is successful at going on the potty. Now when Briar is with anyone who goes potty she cheers and does a dance. Everyone else in the public bathroom gets a kick out of it. If only I could get her to give me jellybeans - one for pee pee, two for poo!
I had a doctor appointment and my husband was working so I hauled along both kids. I had to get an intramuscular shot. As soon as I dropped my drawers for the nurse Briar became very concerned that she needed to get me to the potty. "Mama, potty... potty" She was grabbing my hand and trying to drag me to the bathroom. I can only assume that is what she was trying to do because she doesn't actually speak English yet. In my toddlers eyes, pants only come off for potty breaks! Hopefully this will hold true until she is thirty.
We try to let Briar be as independent as possible when going potty. We let her do as many of the steps as possible. The problem lies when she tries to wipe. At first she got too much toilet paper so we would correct her. Now she doesn't get enough. By not enough I mean she pinches a little piece between her thumb and index finger and tears just that little bit off. There has yet to be a happy medium to this goldilocks story.
We got one of those folding seats that rests on a regular sized toilet in an attempt to make outings easier. I had Briar on it in a family restroom, so I was braiding my hair while I waited for her to finish her business. I was not paying close enough attention and she tried to get down herself. She nearly took a swim. The potty seat did take a swim.
As I mentioned Briar is still only 95% potty trained and a long ways away from not needing us in the bathroom so I am sure this will not be the last of my potty stories, stay tuned.
We went on our first family trip since having Boone last week. You can expect a few more blogs about the rest of the trip but the plane ride alone warrants its own!
Traveling with two under two wasn't too bad, but it does require an embarrassing amount of stuff. Lots of tiny clothes, car seats, stroller, snacks, water bottles, diapers, etc. We barely made it into the airport without help. Taking the bus from the airport to the rental car pickup in Phoenix was a site to be seen!
My MIL snapped this picture on our way into the airport. On the way back we had even another bag!
About thirty minutes into the flight Boone starts tooting. I reached down to get the travel changing pad thingy so I can change him once the seat belt light is turned off. IT IS NOT THERE. So you can understand the gravity of the situation, I am talking about one of those combo deals that is a changing pad but also stores all your wipes and your diapers. At some point the night before it had been taken out of my bag and never made it back in. A six hour flight with no diapers! I turned around to my husband who was sitting behind me and frantically asked him about it. The blame game was strong because at the time I was stressed to the max and KNEW it was his fault that we had left without it. Not my best moment. Sorry babe! Panic set in and tears were discreetly shed as Boone continued to bomb his diaper.
I ended up asking the flight attendant if she would mind asking other parents with small babies if they would spare a diaper. She obliged and came back with one from the front, thanks seat 13b! It was a size four and it came up to Boone`s nipples but never have I been more thankful to change a poopy diaper.
Parenting is no easy feat, luckily there is a whole bunch of us doing it and help is never too far away. If you are reading this, I have a challenge for you. If you see a parent struggling and there is something you can do, do it! Maybe it could just be holding the door, or keeping the eye rolls to yourself when there is a screaming toddler in the store. The reality is, you never know when you will be on a six hour flight with no diapers and in need of some help from the tribe of other parents.
In addition to the diaper fiasco both my husband and I managed to open pressurized water bottles and soak everything. I just drenched my shirt. When my husband did it though, he sprayed at least four rows worth of people. The man sitting across the aisle from me had his eyes closed and didn`t see the water bottle - when he felt the spray he was convinced that something was wrong with the plane because it was leaking!
As an adult it is easy to take things for granted and forget what is important. It is easy to get caught up in moving on to the next thing, just paying the bills, going through the motions because that is what you are supposed to do. We often forget to even notice the little bits of our day that would bring us joy if we could just pay attention to them. We miss out on a daily basis because we are just to busy!
My daughter, nearly two now, has been my greatest teacher. In the short time that she has been earth-side I have learned more about living and about myself than I ever learned in high school, college, or even from my own parents. (sorry mom and dad!) Don`t get me wrong, all of those things have value, but they pale in comparison to my current classroom.
At one point we were all young and I imagine similar to how my daughter is now. She is able to appreciate the smallest things and get hours and hours of joy from something that seems so insignificant. If something doesn`t go her way she feels so deeply about it that tears are usually involved; And then the magical part, she just MOVES ON. At some point in growing up we all lose that ability to find joy in small things and to shed the weight of disappointment and just move on.
Briar`s current source of joy waiting outside her door.
For three days now every time Briar grabs this Valentines Day balloon her whole face lights up and she is the happiest little girl in the world. She runs around the house saying, "baoon," because that as good as she can pronounce it. She has gifted it to me. She has gifted it to her baby brother. Let that sink in you guys; this is currently her most prized possession and she is willing to share it. She has tried to take it in the shower. She is the QUEEN of appreciating the little things in life. If we all try to be a bit more like Briar (or like your kids - they probably have a similar joy) we will all be a little happier.
"Baoon," is waiting outside the door and will make her happy all over again when she gets up from her afternoon nap!
"Faith will take you where fear will never go."